shay

I just got some alarming test results left on my voicemail because, when I filled out the paperwork at the doctor’s office many moons ago, I agreed to have test results left on my voice mail. Now I’m realizing that this is probably a bad idea because, when the test results aren’t so hot — aka “Hey Steph you have alarmingly high cholesterol, now go talk to your GP” — then I immediately look at the clock and realize it’s nearly 5 PM on a Friday and, as expected, the nurse at both the doctor’s office who called me and the doctor’s office I need to visit aren’t answering when I call them.

Which means I could possibly spend the weekend wondering if I’m going to die of a heart attack before being able to figure out why I have this anomalously high LDL (boo) given that I have zero risk factors and all my other results are better than acceptable.

Same thing happened in December when what turned out to be a completely normal test result wasn’t framed that way on my voicemail (maybe I should be better about answering every phone call), and so I spent 10 days over Christmas and New Year’s worrying because the doctor’s office was closed and I had no one to translate my results to me.

This is really unhelpful, when it comes down to it. And it’s really the least of healthcare’s worries, I’m sure, but I do wonder if it’s something more systemic. What kind of a load am I leaving on the system by calling a bunch of people at random times trying to track down an interpretation of results? Why can’t someone just tell me “You’re cool, don’t worry.” Will they get sued if it turns out I’m not cool and I should have worried? Leaving me in limbo with results I don’t have the medical knowledge to translate is actually leaving me better off? I find that hard to believe.

Luckily I have Google to act as my interpreter, at least until business hours open at the doctor’s office next Monday.

Watching episodes from the original “The Office” starring Ricky Gervais makes me so thankful that network executives on this earth are willing to pay to air shows like these.  At the sake of sounding like a completely cliche yuppy, this is the best sitcom I’ve ever had the absolute pleasure (and, in some scenes, awkward displeasure) of watching.  The entire cast’s delivery is pristine. The writing is beyond brilliant.

And, when Gervais as David Brent laughs super hard, *I* instantly laugh so hard.

About as hard as when I watch:

So my dad tends to spend hours on his computer fretting over its performance (concerned it’s in a constant state of having a virus) and forwarding email messages about why Obama is not fit to be our president. Occasionally, amid political messages and the “if you don’t forward this to 10 people” threats he passes along, there are hilarious jokes or interesting tests.

Like the one below.

Look at the spinning woman and if she is turning right, then the right side of your brain is working. If she is turning left your left, then the left side of your brain is working ….

If you can see her turning both left and right, then you have a 160 or better IQ

When she stopped turning to the left for me and started turning to the right — and I couldn’t get her to turn to the left again — I thought my brain was going to melt. I’m still dazzled by this little exercise.